


A Spark

by delphoxdork



Series: Relationships Are Complicated [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: A decent amount of angst, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Heavier than the first one, I changed things, I guess it depends on if you like angst or not, I promise, M/M, Not sorry?, Other, Reader Insert, Revelations, Sorry?, The Big Game, based off of two episodes, but this'll be fluffy at the end, gender neutral reader, kinda sorta, okay jk quite a lot of angst i've found
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9077515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delphoxdork/pseuds/delphoxdork
Summary: Cat’s out of the bag now: you and Spencer are officially… well, official. You both do a good job of staying completely professional at work, after all, you had been doing it for the last six months and were both pretty good at it. Would you be able to maintain that business like distance if one of you seriously got into trouble? Somewhat roughly based on Season 2 Ep. 14 “The Big Game” and Ep. 15 “Revelations” simply because they had the type of plot line I want and I’d be bad at making up my own case. Some things probably won’t be accurate- actually, I can promise you some things won’t be accurate (I ended up going and looking over a transcript after I wrote half of this thing and there are definitely huge mistakes), but it’s a story and figured it wasn’t such a big deal that I had to rewatch the episodes and try to account for how things went and things that are now changed with an extra person at the BAU. Hopefully y’all feel the same and if not… uh.. Change the story in your head? That’s what I do with all the time when I read Spencer/Reader fics because almost all of them are written with a female reader.





	1. The Start of Something New

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a couple lines taken directly from 02x15 Revelations. This all belongs to the creators of Criminal Minds.

It had been about a month since the team had found out about you and Reid. It was weird, honestly. You felt exposed, the team knowing about this very personal part of your life. You could remember the first day you had walked in after you had told Morgan, which had happened on a Friday afternoon, so, naturally, by Monday everyone knew already.

***

_ Garcia’s eyes were on you. You could feel them. She wanted to say something to you- you could feel that too. You kept your head down though and walked past her. You couldn’t tell if it was something good or bad, but you didn’t really care to find out. A lot of your co-workers had similar reactions as you walked through the office to your desk. The team was all very protective of their own. They, of course, didn’t really consider you one of their own, but that was your own doing and you were fine with that. Spencer, however, was one of their own. And they were surely worried about him, being with some standoff-ish person like yourself.  _

_ But you supposed you rather that than the alternative. You were glad he had a group of people that cared for him. Though, you’d always know you cared for him the most. And that was why the staring and the sideways glances didn’t bother you as much as they might’ve otherwise. You loved Spencer, and despite whatever they thought, he loved you too. After revealing to Morgan that you had been together for six months, that really lifted your boyfriends spirits, like, a lot. You definitely had a weekend that made all this worth it.  _

_ The previous night Spencer ended up going home rather than staying over as usual, he had a few things to take care of and you were fine with that, obviously. So you didn’t carpool, and surprisingly, you had come into work before he did. Usually it was him who was getting you up for work in the morning. It wasn’t too long after that he came through the office. With only a look around, you could tell that everyone in there was just about ready to jump him for answers. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Garcia approach him, but you had no idea what she said to him, or what his response was. It was too hard to read them without getting a better look. But really, you knew you shouldn’t be doing that anyway.  _

_ “Good morning, Y/F/N,” you heard Spencer’s voice from behind you a little while later as he passed.  _

_ “Mornin’ Spencer,” you looked over your shoulder to smile at him. Now that everyone knew you weren’t going to get all mushy in the office, but you knew he was okay with that. In fact, that was something you both prefered.  _

_ That day was rather slow. No new cases, yet anyway. Hotch did ask for you to meet in his office though right before you had gone to lunch. He said it could wait, but the entire time you were eating you were anxious about it. Spencer told you not to worry about it too much, but that didn’t really help. You figured it wouldn’t be about any new developments since the two of you weren’t asked to go in together, but still. The timing seemed too coincidental. _

_ And as it turned out, it wasn’t really all that coincidental at all. It  _ was _ about your relationship with Spencer. When you asked (very respectfully, might you add) about why he wasn’t asked in as well, Hotchner told you he would be talking with him separately later. You secretly wondered to yourself if that would ever even happen.  _

_ “Are you aware of our policy on dating a coworker?” he asked you, leaning forward, hands folded on top of his desk.  _

_ “No, sir,” you replied honestly. You figured it wouldn’t be a big deal since this sort of thing didn’t seem to happen often. _

_ “Then let me enlighten you. It is allowed, but highly discouraged. Seeing as how advanced your relationship with Dr. Reid has already seemed to progress, I will not try to stop it or intervene. For now.” You resisted the urge to sigh in relief. That was what you were secretly the most worried about. That he would tell you that you and Spencer couldn’t see each other anymore if you wanted to keep your jobs. If that happened… you didn’t know what you’d do.  _

_ “That being said, you both have done well to keep things at a professional level for the last six months.” You just loved how every little known detail, including the length of your relationship got around to everyone, including Hotch, of all people. “I expect that to continue,” he looked at you pointedly, and you nodded. _

_ “Yes, sir.” _

_ “You can get back to work now,” he said, and you nodded once more before getting up and leaving his office. You smoothed out your blazer as you walked back to your desk. Everyone was looking at you, again. Man, that was really getting old. Spencer gave you a questioning look, and a moment later you felt a buzz in your pocket. You had gotten a text and you were pretty sure you knew who it was from.  _

**_Everything OK?_ **

_ Just as you had expected, it was from Spencer. _

**_It’s all good. Hotch said we could b together and keep our jobs_ **

**_I could have told you that._ **

**_Wat?_ **

**_Unlike some people, I made sure to learn the rules of the office._ **

_ You looked up to make a face at him and he just grinned at you. You saw Prentiss looking at you from her desk and you instantly felt your face get warm as you policed your face and averted your eyes to look at the paperwork that had been sitting on your desk since before lunch. You were pretty sure you could hear Spencer chuckling ever so quietly. _

_ _ *** _ _


	2. A Tricky Case

That was pretty much how the rest of your day went… a lot of staring. At this point, most of it had subsided, thankfully. And yet, you and Spencer were still going as strong as ever, probably even stronger. You hadn’t realized the toll it had been taking on him to be keeping this a secret from the people who he considered friends, and for that, you were truly sorry. You knew whenever he talked about his personal life and you came up things got awkward for everyone, but you could tell that he was at least relieved that he didn’t have to hide it anymore. 

You had just arrived at work, putting your car into park as you hooked your permit over your rearview mirror. You leaned over, lips pursed as Spencer gave a quick peck, as per usual before going into the office.

“Have a good day at work, babe,” you grinned at him.

“I could say the same thing to you as well,” he smiled back, looking at you lovingly. He was, one hundred percent, without a doubt, a keeper. You glanced out the window to notice Garcia walking past the front of your car, probably just having gotten to work herself. She waved at the two of you, a big, cheesy grin on her face. Oh god, she probably saw the two of you. Your face turned red and when she had passed you rested your forehead on Spencer’s shoulder. He only chuckled as he rubbed your back soothingly. 

“It’ll be fine, it’s only the whole office that’ll know that we kiss before work,” he teased you. You pulled back, giving him stink eye.

“Not. Helping.” You couldn’t keep the serious look on your face for long though and he ended up kissing you once more on the cheek before opening his door, and you did the same. Once you walked into work, any signs of your lovey-dovey demeanors were gone, both of you going into full business mode. That particular morning you all had a pretty big case. Last night a wealthy couple was murdered in their home in under five minutes. Police responded ridiculously fast, but it was still too late, and they only did so because one of your UnSubs had called 9-1-1 in the first place. 

The lot of you were all on the plane in less than an hour after having been filled in on all the details that were available to you. It seemed crazy, but then again, in this line of work, nothing was really crazy anymore. You rode the plane, going over victimology as much as you could, considering there were only two victims and one attack. Once arriving in Georgia, the location of the attack, you were sent to go view the crime scene along with others on your team. You were one of the least squeamish of the bunch, not that anyone in the BAU was really squeamish (other than Garcia), you were just especially good at distancing yourself from the gore and brutality. 

By the end of the day, you were all exhausted. The UnSubs made an excellent team, you could give them that. Worked together better than any other team you had seen since your time in the FBI. But as hard as it was for all of you to break away from the case, you knew you needed to get rest. It was the best thing to do if you wanted to keep being efficient. You and Spencer shared a hotel room, which was one of the perks of being  _ official _ in the office. You could room with your boyfriend without it seeming weird that you always roomed with him. 

You both were quiet, taking turns using the shower and getting ready for bed. It had been a very long day. You yawned as you pushed one of the queen sized bed towards the other. While yes, you could both reasonably fit on one, it was just nice to be able to have all this extra space. Might as well take the luxury where you could when in a hotel. You waited, laying on your back with a book in hand for Spencer to finish in the shower. Unfortunately, you never made it that long, your fatigue creeping in and pulling you under before he was even done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started this tonight... probably finish this tonight.
> 
> Oh, I'm sorry, did I say tonight? It's almost 3 in the morning hahaha winter break has fucked me up so much....


	3. The Witness

You opened your eyes slowly and groggily, not knowing where you were for a second. When you came back to yourself a bit, you glanced over at the clock, seeing that you still had about an hour before your alarm would go off. You felt the weight of something on top of your midsection and arm, and quickly realized that it was Spencer, snuggled into your side as you laid on your back as you had when you fell asleep. You barely saw the outline of your book in the dim light of the bedside clock. 

You glanced down at your boyfriend’s sleeping face, resting just above your chest. You loved seeing him like this. He was younger than you, and yet sometimes, during cases like this, he seemed much older. When he was asleep, it seemed all his innocence returned to him and the weight of the world was chased away by his dreaming. You sighed contentedly, wrapping the one arm that was under him around him, pulling him a little tighter. You tried to get a little more sleep before you had to get, but that of course never worked out, and before you knew it you heard the blaring sound of your alarm. Spencer stirred as you reached over to turn the ringing off.

“Morning, babe,” you said, looking down at him again and placing a kiss on the top of his head.

“Good mornin’,” he said sleepily before finally turning his head to look up at you.

“You ready for today?” You asked, face grim. You watched as his transformed to match what you were feeling and he nodded once. 

“Let’s do this,” he said, getting up and out of bed. 

When you got to the police station only Hotch and J.J. were there so far, but it didn’t take long for the others to arrive. Right away, you all got back to work. You were eventually able to identify a potential witness, a man named Tobias Hankel. J.J. and Spencer were sent to go and talk with him just as another murder was reported. The two left as you and the rest of the team talked with the coroner and deciphered the 9-1-1 phone call that came again. 

It wasn’t too long until you were able to get a video of the female victim, Mrs. Douglass. Garcia sent it over. It was a graphic depiction of the vic being killed by three dogs. You gritted your teeth, you were on edge to get this case over with. By what seemed like some miracle, the police chief recognized the dogs, said they had attacked someone else before. 

“You have the owner’s name?” Hotchner asked him, looking at him with furrowed brows.

“Hankel.” And that was the moment your heart dropped into your stomach. All you could think about was Spencer.


	4. Split Up

“We have to get out there. Now,” you demanded, rather than asking. The look in Hotch’s eye told you that you were lucky he was thinking the same thing or you’d definitely get some shit for doing that. At the time though, you didn’t really care. The only thing keeping you contained was the fact that you knew Spencer was a very capable agent, and with someone else at least with him he should be okay. Or at least, you hoped. 

The hour drive it took to get out to the property seemed to drag on forever. You couldn’t stop bouncing your leg, your anxiety getting to you a bit. You could feel your coworkers’ glances occasionally. You were sure that your behavior seemed quite out of the ordinary. 

When you got there, the first thing you heard were gunshots coming from behind the old looking house. You and the team quickly made your way to the barn and opened the door, seeing J.J. with her gun out and the three dogs from before laying motionless on the ground.

“I had to kill them,” she said, seeming dazed and afraid. All you could focus on though was that Spencer was nowhere in sight. 

“Jareau, where’s Spencer?” You asked, doing your best to keep your voice level. You knew he was a skilled agent, you knew it. You just had to keep reminding yourself of that fact, for your sanity. 

“They just completely tore her apart. There’s nothing even left--”

“J.J. look at me,” you said, sternly enough to get her attention but hopefully not harsh enough to scare her. You could see how shaken up she was over what had happened in that very barn less than 24 hours prior. “Look at me,” you said again, and this time she did. “Where’s Spencer?”

“We split up,” she said, and you took a step back. There were already agents in the house, and you just hoped to God they found him in there. Less than five minutes later, everyone regrouped on the front lawn.

“So where the hell is he?” You heard someone ask after the search of the residence came up empty. 

“Hey, is there any sign of him yet?” 

“You can’t find Reid?"

“Not yet.”

You heard these voices all around you and felt utterly helpless. Where was Spencer? What did that Hankel bastard do to him? Above all else, you felt angry and scared. They shouldn’t have split up, J.J. should have known it was a bad idea. You knew that it was Spencer who suggested it, but as brilliant as he was he could have shit ideas too and Jareau should have fought him on it. She should have- she should have- but you knew there was nothing she could have done. If Spencer had determined that it wasn’t too much of a risk to split up and had his mind set on doing it there wouldn’t have been anyway to talk him out of it. The only thing that could be done now would be to find him. 


	5. A Little Bit of Worry Goes a Long Way

The team set up shop right in the house, thinking it would be best since all of Hankel’s computers were inside. There wasn’t much you could do at the moment, or any of the non-technologically gifted members could do either. You listened though, intently, as you paced across the short space. You couldn’t sit still. Spencer was out there with this psychopath and at the current moment there was nothing you could do. When they found Hankel’s father was the first time that you actually felt as if you were of some use.

“That’s gotta be the stressor,” you said.

“Stressor?”

“His father’s death- it’s probably what set him off,” Prentiss elaborated. She seemed so unphased. You got the whole separation of business and personal, seriously, you did, totally. But the more you thought about it, none of them were as worried as you thought they would be. They were on edge, but, it was just off. For people who claimed to be his friends, why the hell weren’t they more angry?

You end up finding a journal of Hankel’s after learning more about his past. Abusive father, drug addiction, extreme psychosis. You were getting more and more antsy by the minute. But you kept going through the motions, doing your best to try and profile this guy, and his dead dad. Concentration was difficult at the moment though, your mind wandering to what could be happening to Spencer. You didn’t have to wonder for long.

“Guys! Guys! Get in here!”

“He’s been beaten. Can’t you track him?” You rushed into the room, moving towards what everyone was looking at, and froze. On the monitor you see Spencer, bloodied and fatigued. All the air rushes out of your lungs. The bastard is talking to him and you do your best to focus on what he’s saying, knowing what the others are talking about is of little consequence. You already heard the part about how Garcia can’t track him and that’s all you cared about. Hankel was making him choose. Choose who to live, and choose who to die. You _knew_ you were going to get your Spencer back. At this point, you couldn’t explore any other possibility. The only question was, how many pieces of him were there going to be?

You sat, still as stone, as you listened to the others talk quietly. Talking about blaming themselves or not blaming themselves. Why weren’t they more upset? The more you sat there, the more upset _you_ got. It kept bubbling inside you until you couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“You know, I can’t believe you guys,” you said, your tone low with a hint of being disgusted. Everyone stopped and turned to you, some with wide eyes. This was probably the last thing they expected from you- they had all been avoiding you mostly for the night, not knowing how you were holding up. You didn’t care about any of that though, and you stood up to be eye level with the lot of them.

“You all claim to be his friends. He always talks about you as his friends,” your voice steadily rising as you stared them all down. “You act so protective of him, literally treating me as if _I’m_ going to break him or something, and yet, when he’s in actual danger, you all are doing what? Thinking about yourselves! I can’t believe any of you!” They all looked back at you like you had just grown horns or something, but their surprised stares did nothing but work you up more. “We have to be able to do something to help him right now, there can’t be _nothing!”_

You were about to continue on your rampage when you felt a rough hand on your arm. You turned around, about to yell at them to, when you saw it was Hotchner and he had a look on his face like nothing else.

“That’s _enough_ , Y/L/N.”


	6. Authority Rules

“I thought we agreed that you would keep your personal feelings out of your work,” Hotchner said, sternly, angrily. 

“Yes. I am sorry that has been compromised, sir. It’s just a little hard to do that when your significant other is being tortured and nobody is seemingly doing anything,” you replied, completely unable to keep the sarcastic tone out of your voice. 

“This team is doing the best they can and you know that. We all care about Reid and want to see him hurt just as much as you do. I know you’re worried Y/L/N, but outbursts like this are doing the exact opposite of helping.”

“Imagine if that were Haley out there,” the words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. Hotchner looked as if you had slapped him across the face, but only for a moment before his expression hardened, moreso even than it was before. 

“One more step out of line and I’ll have you taken back to the police station,” he said, before walking past you to go back into the computer room. You stood there for a moment, a little taken aback. That would be no good. You were still angry, incredibly angry, but you couldn’t leave. Not now. You took a moment before going back into the room yourself. Everyone looked at you (that was becoming a reoccurring theme, you noticed) but you ignored all of them, keeping your eyes glued on the visual of Spencer.

_ Hang in there baby. We’re going to get you back. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done kiddies, I mean, I've worked farther ahead than what I'm posting and I just have this one last section to write and then an epilogue which I'm debating which isn't really an epilogue rather just a condensed retelling of what happened from another's perspective. Yeah, I think Imma do that...


	7. God's Will

Something was happening. It was Hankel’s father who was in control now and he seemed pissed- not that he ever had any other sort of demeanor. 

“Confess your sins! Confess!”

“I haven’t done anything. Tobias, help me,” Spencer plead and your heart broke. “Help.” 

“Oh my God. He’s killing him.” Someone around you said. You didn’t know who it was, nor did you care. All you knew was that those words made it hard for you to breathe. 

Another murder. 

The team was able to narrow Hankel’s location based off of how quickly it all happened. Finally, progress was being made. You allowed yourself to feel a small amount of relief. That was, until, you were all called back over to the screen. 

“Tell me who you serve,” Hankel ordered. By his voice, he was channeling Raphael. It wasn’t hard to infer that he meant either him and God or the team.

“I serve you,” Spencer replied. Good boy, you thought. You didn’t care what he said, as long as he lived you didn’t care one damn bit. 

“Then choose one to die.” Your eyebrows furrowed, what the hell was this man doing? Spencer seemed confused too and Hankel repeated. 

“Kill me.” You didn’t even notice the tear that slipped down your cheek as he said those words. No.  _ No _ . This wasn’t what Spencer was supposed to be saying to stay alive. This, in fact, was the exact opposite. What was he doing? You hadn’t even realized that you whispered “no” aloud. 

You watched as Hankel insist that he tell him who dies. When he refused, he pulled a gun out of his pocket and spun the revolver. More tears slipped down your cheeks and you found yourself unable to peel your eyes away, as if watching would save Spencer. He said no again, and Hankel pulled the trigger. 

You jumped at the sound of the blank. You swear you saw your and Spencer’s short time together flash before your eyes. You couldn’t let him do this, he had to choose  _ somebody _ , you didn’t care who, you didn’t care if it was you. All you cared about was him giving a name, but as he said no for the third time, you knew you were completely helpless.

Hankel pulled the trigger and yet again you jumped. It was another blank, thank God. But you knew there would only be so many blanks before there would be a bullet coming out of the barrel of that gun. You begged Spencer in your mind to appease Hankel.

“Life is a choice.” 

“No."

The gun clicked again.

“Choose.”

“I…” Spencer was hesitating. Did that mean he was going to pick someone? “I choose… Aaron Hotchner.” In that moment all you could feel was relief flooding through you. Hankel moved his arm, pointing it above Spencer’s head. He fired it again, the gun going off with a resounding bang. You couldn’t hold the sob that made it’s way up from inside your chest as you watched the screen. He had been so close. You were shaking, but you balled your fists together as tight as you could in an attempt to control it. 

Hearing everyone shuffling out of the room after Hotchner, you took a moment to wipe your face, collect yourself a little, and glance at the screen one last time before leaving to join them. Hotch had asked them to list off his worst qualities. Quite a few ran through your mind, but you kept them to yourself, not having it in you to speak. 

“I’m all of these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team, because I don’t, ever,” he said. You vaguely remembered Spencer accusing the man of being a narcissist after choosing him, and now that you thought about it, that did strike you as odd, but just as your superior was explain, you knew too that it was a clue. It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this one I actually looked up the clip to see this, I was using a transcript but that didn't tell me any of the actions, so I wanted to get the timing right. Yeah I know I said it wasn't really a big deal if things were perfect which I still stand by, I just wanted to make sure I got more of the important stuff right. The time at which the team was called in for the case and if there was an extra day in there were much less important


	8. The Sound of a Gun

“He’s in a cemetery,” you said, voice a little rough from the lump still stuck inside your throat. After Hotchner had read the verse, it just seemed obvious. After some digging, the team was able to find that there was a cemetery on the grounds. Upon hearing this, all of you were outside, flashlight in one hand, gun in the other. Hotchner gave you a funny look before you left, and he had every right. You knew if you found Hankel first you’d be shooting. And you had a full magazine in your gun. 

The team, along with the local police spread out, shining light every which way. One moment you were intently searching, the next moment your head snapped up as the sound of a gun rang out into the night. You ran forward towards the noise, having to get there. All you could think about was Spencer. You swore if he got shot there would be so much hell to pay…

As you came across a clearing you saw Hankel on the ground as Spencer was shakily getting up off his knees. You barely had a chance to click the safety on your gun (and if it wasn’t an ingrained habit at this point you probably wouldn’t have) before you ran forward and pulled him into your arms. 

“You’re safe, Spencer. You’re safe. You hear me? You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you said, unsure if you were saying that more to sooth him or you as you ran your fingers through his hair. It took him a moment to even move, but soon enough he had one arm around your waist and one around your shoulders, mimicking your hold on him. You could feel him shaking, or maybe that was just you. It was hard to tell

You stood like that for a long time, you could tell the others were behind you but you didn’t care. Eventually the two of you stepped apart, every instinct in you telling you not to let him go but you knew he was safe now. One glance down at Hankel’s dead body could tell you that. Hotchner stepped up and also pulled Spencer into a hug. 

“I knew you’d understand,” he said, his voice shaky. You knew you needed to let him be with his friends too. You usually weren’t the jealous type… but at that moment all you wanted was to snatch him away. You couldn’t do that though, and you knew this as he then hugged J.J.

As she let go of him he hobbled a little and instantly looked back at you. He didn’t even have to ask you were at his side in a second, letting him hold onto you for stability. You always wanted to be there when he needed you. 


	9. Baby

You were on the jet home the next day early in the morning. That night Spencer had stayed in the hospital to make sure everything was okay. Hankel gave him some sort of drug to put him to sleep a couple of times, as well as he had trauma to the head and some other areas, but other than that, he was going to be okay. At least physically. 

You had stayed up with him all night. Neither of you really talked, not knowing what to say, but you held his hand the entire time. You didn’t really feel too drowsy. Sure, you were exhausted, but in a different sense. Your mind was still processing, thoughts whizzing through your head 90 miles a minute and you didn’t think you could’ve slept even if you wanted to. 

Since you had driven to work with Spencer the day you left for Georgia, you were the one to drive back home, and you just went straight to your apartment. Usually after cases you would go to your respective places, unpack, shower, do whatever, and then later if you weren’t entirely exhausted Spencer would come over. Not today though. You just needed him to be there with you. And, well, he didn’t protest so you took it as permission. 

When you got to your place you made sure to take care of your boyfriend. It was mostly an excuse to be close to him, to touch him and to love him after what happened, but you knew he needed this too. You threw both of your clothes from your bags in the washer before helping him shower. There was nothing sexual about it, he needed to be careful of his injuries and that’s what you were there for. When you were done, you helped him out of the shower and dried him with the towel you had gotten out, as well as yourself. You also had the forethought to grab fresh clothes from the dresser. Spencer had quite a lot of his things at your apartment so you didn’t have trouble getting something together for him.

You had him go into the bedroom while you switched over the laundry. When you got back into your room you saw him under the covers, laying on his side. You weren’t sure if he was sleeping or not, but if he was, you didn’t want to wake him by getting in bed. He was generally a very light sleeper. You were about to leave and crash on the couch for a bit when you heard him.

“Please don’t leave me.” His voice was quiet, soft. 

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” you whispered as you lightly pushed the door so it was mostly shut and crawled into your side of the bed. He was facing you, and as soon as you were situated he moved closer so his face was only inches from yours.

“I almost lost you,” you said, your voice even more quiet now as you allowed yourself to drink in his features. “I thought I was going to lose you.” He just looked at you, sorrow in his eyes. “But you came back to me, baby,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes as you moved your hand to lay it on his cheek. “I love you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you.” At a time like this, you couldn’t help but be brutally honest. 

His eyes looked just as glossy as yours felt as he moved forward to pull you close, burying his face in your neck. “I love you Y/N,” he said, his words muffled. You held him tightly, never wanting to let go. You kissed the top of his head, something you did often. He pulled back, just a hair, to gently press his lips against yours. You kissed him once, twice, a few times. Doing your best to push all of your love into each one. You both fell asleep shortly after. Things were going to be tough, but together, you believed you could get through them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo, almost done! Gonna still do the epilogue thing but Imma wait to do that after I've slept...


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short synopsis through J.J.'s point of view

Ever since it had been found out that Spencer and Y/L/N were going out things in the office had been a little different, but after a while, I, nor any of our coworkers didn’t really notice much. We were skeptical at first, of course, but considering that Y/L/N never really socialized with any of us, ever, it was pretty understandable. It seemed completely out of the blue, and yet, the two of them had been dating for a whole six months. 

But they still acted completely professional in the workplace, the only ‘affection’ ever being shown was that Y/L/N actually called Spencer  _ ‘Spencer’  _ now, instead of Reid. But that was okay, while I wouldn’t have minded any if they had shown more PDA, I’m sure some of the others would have. So after time went on, it was easy to forget that they had completely separate personal lives… except for the times that Garcia would find something out and tell us about it, of course.

This is why it came as such a shock to us all how Y/L/N handled Spencer being kidnapped. I still struggle with it myself, knowing that if I hadn’t have let him go off on his own he probably wouldn’t have endured what he did. But he doesn’t blame me, I know that, and for now, that’s good enough. 

They had questioned me, when the team found me, Y/L/N did. They had asked me where Spencer was, a completely reasonable request. It didn’t, on paper, reveal anything new. But the look in their eyes. I could see the flash of panic there when I said we had split up, and again when we couldn’t find him. I think it was the first time I ever saw any genuine emotion from them. If I thought that was a lot though, I could’ve just waited a bit. 

Y/L/N’s outburst was off putting for all of us. They had seemed restless the entire time we were trying to find Spencer’s location, but  _ that _ , that’ll be something I’ll never forget. I know they weren’t really angry at us, or at least, it’s what I think. Rather, I believe they were angry at Spencer still being gone, and scared, and worried sick. I could tell, and while, I wish the whole thing never happened, it did give some comforting insight to the extend of Y/L/N’s feelings for Spencer. He’s a part of our family, and we always want the best for him.

Hotchner had taken Y/L/N out of the room for a moment, probably to tell them they needed to calm down. When they came back into the room they didn’t seem less calm but at least they weren’t yelling anymore. They watched the small screen of Spencer along with us. I could see how they tensed up when Derek commented under his breath about how Hankel was killing him. I was tempted to smack him for it, knowing it would do no good, especially for Y/L/N state of mind.They were already so on edge. 

“No,” they whispered as Spencer told Hankel to kill him, rather than choosing one of us. It was a tense moment for all of us, every time he pulled the trigger after each one of Spencer’s refusals was absolutely maddening. I sideways glanced at Hotchner when he was offered as the ‘sacrifice’ so to speak, though I highly doubted he blamed the young doctor. Y/L/N just seemed relieved that he had chose someone. 

Then, Hankel pointed the gun above his head and a resounding blast came from the it as the single bullet exploded out. The noise that Y/L/N made honestly broke my heart. I had never heard a desperate plea quite like it, and I was tempted to comfort them as they shuddered, but didn’t. I knew how they felt about anything like that. So as Aaron left the room, so did the rest of us, leaving them to their privacy. They rejoined the group only moments later, much to my surprise, but they looked like they had taken that short time to recollect themselves a little. 

When we were finally able to get some kind of hold on Spencer’s location, Y/L/N was in the lead of the search party. They were the one to find them first. By the time the rest of us got there, both they and Spencer were wrapped tightly in each other’s embrace, both shaking. I could tell Y/L/N was whispering something to him, but I couldn’t make it out, and running their hand through his hair. It was a truly touching scene, the way those two really relied on each other, even despite the tragedy that was that night. We all just let them have their time, knowing this was important. When they finally broke away, Spencer hugged Hotch, and then I made sure to get a hug in there too. I had been so worried about him- Y/L/N hadn’t been the only one. 

That night, Spencer was kept in the hospital to be observed. Y/L/N didn’t leave his side for one minute, holding his hand the entire time, even with us all in there. I had almost expected them to go back to how they usually were when we were working, but it made sense that they didn’t, considering how taxing the night had been. They drove home together too after we got back. 

When they first revealed they were going out, yeah, we were all skeptical. But after seeing how much Y/L/N truly did care for our resident genius, I had no doubts he’d be in very good hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done!!! Yes, I finished like a week or something after I said I would, but hey, I could've just never finished like half the authors on here, hmmmm?? So yeah, like last time, I have ideas for where a continuation of this could go, so if you're interested let me know or I probably won't write it lol.


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